Day 29

Today was a good day for Tanzi. She is now up to 45mL's (1 1/2 ounces!!!) on her feeds!! And remember how I told you full feeds were about 48mL's? Well, that's not entirely true. Her full feeds all depend on how much she weighs. And since her weight keeps going up, so does the amount of food she gets. However, she is still really close to full feeds. So close, in fact, that she will be going off her central IV and lipids! And the NP told me today that since she's so high on her feeds then tomorrow we could try to breast feed!! We will try it once a day to start. I'm REALLY excited about this! One step closer to having this baby girl HOME!!

A Rockstar indeed!

And here's a confession I have to make. Not that I want to admit my mistakes, but I have to make sure that I document the fact that some of my numbers from previous posts are incorrect. I have been calculating Tanzi's weight wrong.

OOPS!

When I call and ask, the nurses always give me her weight in grams, then I use my phone to convert it into pounds. (That seems to be quicker than waiting for the nurses to convert it for me) Well, if it converted into 6.3 lbs (for example) then I was telling you she weighed 6lbs 3oz.

Dumb, I know.

I have had a lot on my mind :)

So, I was always off on her weight. But I'm back on track. Last night when I called to check on Tanzi her nurse told me she gained 90 grams. That's 3 ounces!

She is currently about 6 lbs 8 oz That's nearly a whole pound above her birth weight!!

Today Tanzi had a couple of visitors!!

Here she is, meeting her Aunt Andrea for the very first time! And she snuggled up and went right to sleep in no time!

And her Aunt Tawn came to visit too!

Tawn even got to feed her. And this was the very first time Tanzi didn't finish her bottle!! But she had been awake for quite a while. I think she was more tired than hungry by time she got to the very end.

And, of course, more snuggles!

Wide awake and checking things out

These two are quite the pair!

They have been getting into a lot of trouble lately!! But how can you stay mad for very long at faces such as these?!

Impossible!

Here's a picture of them making "sad faces"

Tanzi fits right in with these CUTE kids!!

I am the LUCKIEST mom to have the MOST beautiful 3 children in ALL the WORLD!!

28 Days and Counting

I love when it is my turn to go see Tanzi. She is just so cute and precious. I love just snuggling her and holding her. Tanzi continues to improve. We took a little nap together today and that was really nice just having her sleep on my chest, it is one the best feelings in the world. I love her so much.

When I was sitting in on rounds with the Doctor and nurses, they kept calling Tanzi their "Rockstar" because she is doing so good. They are going to just keep increasing the amount of her feeds until she is up to full feeds as Mauri mentioned in the last post.

She was smiling so much right when I got there, but I wasn't able to snap off a picture fast enough.

Getting bigger and bigger!

I was able to catch her dimple in action. All three of our kids have one dimple on their right cheek and none on the other. I love it.

Days 26 & 27

Yesterday Gary went down to see Tanzi before he had to go to work. He is such a GREAT daddy! Right now Gary is trying to finish up this semester of school AND he is working until midnight every night AND he plays with Kyri and Graysen when I'm at the hospital AND he goes to spend time with Tanzi! I often complain about being physically and emotionally drained, yet I have not ever heard him complain about any of that! I know he's not getting enough sleep, yet it's a sacrifice he is so willing to make...for his family....for us.

And I love him SO much for that!

Yesterday Gary was able to sit in on rounds. They were talking about how great Tanzi is doing and mentioned that they would increase her feeds again...TWICE!! And then the NP said that once we are up to full feeds the only thing that would keep us there would be the nurses...because they wouldn't let Tanzi leave because she's SO cute!! :)

Gary got to feed Tanzi a bottle for the first time....the first of MANY to come! How nice it will be to have a baby at home that takes bottles! (let's just hope she will ALSO breastfeed!)

And when I called the nurse last night Tanzi was up to 18mL (.6 ounces) on her feeds and they were planning on increasing that to 21mL at 2 am! She was not throwing up and was pooping...so YEA!!

Okay, I know she kind of looks like a pirate in this picture, but I just love how she's holding her hands! Plus, I love the hat she's wearing...it used to be Kyri's

Today when I got to the hospital Tanzi was still on 21mL feeds (.71 ounces) and during rounds they talked about increasing them twice again throughout the rest of the day. I forgot where that will put her, but I THINK it's about 29mL (30 mL's is one ounce). I'll check for sure when I call to check on her tonight before I go to bed. The MD said she would like to increase more, but is worried about pushing it too far. So, we will see how she does with her feeds through the night and increase again tomorrow if all goes well. They said that if Tanzi does well with feeds we should be up to full feeds (about 48 mL's) in about 3 days!! Once she's there they will let Tanzi eat however much she wants, when she wants (and I'm assuming we can start to introduce breastfeeding then too) and we will make sure she is still gaining weight and then we can start talking about coming HOME!! So, we are VERY optimistic that Tanzi will do well with her feeds! Our complete family of 5 is looking more and more possible!!

Tanzi is 4 weeks old today and is now up to 6 lbs 3 oz!!

PCMC got 8 new babies between Saturday night and Monday morning. They had to move Tanzi....which was fine with us because it meant McKell still got to be her nurse on Monday. We now have a window view (again), but we are in a much smaller space...and we miss our friends!! I went to group therapy today and a lot of those new baby's parents were there. One baby girl, Kylie, had a similar surgery Tanzi had. I didn't get a chance to talk to her parents after, so I will have to do that soon. Baby Megan's dad was at group therapy. It sounds like they might get to go home next week! I REALLY hope they do! It has been great making friends with the parents, but there is NOTHING better than hearing that a baby gets to go home...with their family. As lonely as the NICU seems at times, I am SO grateful for the wonderful smiling, friendly faces I see! Each day I feel less and less lonely and more concerned about the other babies and what their families are going through. I will be forever grateful for the wonderful moms and nurses I am meeting....Megan's parents, McKenzie's mom, Emma's mom, Sawyer's mom...and the many more who smile and say hi as we pass in the pump room, or in the hall. Not all memories from PCMC will be bad...thanks to all my new friends!

A Bit of Humor

I didn't go see Tanzi today...it was Gary's turn. But since he doesn't get off work until midnight there will be no new post on Tanzi until tomorrow. So, I decided I would share with you this funny video...for a bit of a break in routine. My friend, Alison, posted this on facebook and I was laughing SO hard! I watched it several times. I think it's pretty hilarious! However, since I'm technologically impaired I didn't know how to post the actual video (please leave a comment telling me how if you would like to help me figure it out and I'll change it) so for now just follow the link!

Let me know if this makes you laugh til you cry....like I did :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80entLldZOg&feature=youtu.be

Day 25

So, our Internet was down yesterday and I wasn't able to post. So, now I have about 3 new ones....check them all out....you'll be happy you did!!

So, we are now 25 days into our journey in the NICU. And while we may yet be there for quite some time, we are finally starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel...even if that light is oh so small, it is there nonetheless!

Today during rounds it was decided that we could increase Tanzi's feeds to 14 mL!! That's .473 ounces!! Remember how the NP said we wouldn't increase it for DAYS?! Well, she's not the only one who wears the pants in THAT hospital :)

Tanzi actually threw up yesterday after one of her feedings, but McKell thinks it was probably just because Tanzi ate it SO fast and swallowed so much air because the nurse had mentioned she threw up while burping. So, we're hoping that optimistic McKell is right and that's all it was. So, even though Tanzi is eating such a small amount we need to stop her in the middle to burp her! She doesn't like that, but this is one time that burping is not only allowed, but gladly welcomed!

The NP also mentioned she would feel better about increasing Tanzi's feeds after she pooped! (you know, to make sure her bowels are all working properly and she's not getting backed up!)

Never before have we given pep talks and been so excited about POOP!

Tanzi has continued to gain weight the past few days. She is now up to about 6 lbs 1 oz!! While that's not very much more than her birth weight she still looks like she's totally filling out!!

Here's our baby girl...still tube free!

LOVE it!!

Yep, McKell was working today, hence the cute headband :)

Today Gary dressed the kids in shorts and a skirt. Wishful thinking, I guess. But then they wanted to go outside and play for a while. So, I made them put shoes on and a jacket....and I let their little legs freeze!

I'm such a good mom!

But they had a great time playing out there and didn't ever complain about being cold! Graysen even mowed the lawn with the new lawn mower he got for his birthday!

What good kids!

HAPPY EASTER!!

We had a pretty fantastic Easter!!

In the morning the kids woke up to ANOTHER Easter basket (pretty sure this is the most spoiled my kids will EVER be on Easter....thanks to PCMC!!) and hidden Easter eggs. I REALLY wish we knew how to put our videos onto our computer so we could post them on here because Kyri and Graysen were hilarious to watch on their Easter egg hunt! They were ridiculously excited with each and every egg they found!

It was priceless!!

Here they are with their baskets...full of goodies! They each got a sing-a-ma-jig and thanks to PCMC they each got a new, soft blanket!

I'm not sure why Kyri is looking so reverent in this picture. I surely wish this is how she would be during family prayers!!

Checking out the goodies!

Kyri got a Rapunzel blanket...awesome!!

And Gray LOVES his sing-a-ma-jig!

After church we colored eggs!

I could NOT get Kyri to look at the camera!

But check out her awesome purple egg!

A couple times when I turned my back I would hear Gray say, "juice!" and when I turned back he would be drinking the dye!!

We had a lot of fun celebrating Easter! Tanzi even got yet another basket at the hospital (but I keep forgetting to take a picture of it). This one was donated and has a cute onesie, a bib, a blanket, a toy, a book, some lotion...spoiled baby girl!

We talked to the kids about why we celebrate Easter...I sure hope they are actually learning. This year Easter was filled with gifts, but how truly grateful I am for the most magnificent gift of the Resurrection of our Savior!

While Gary took the kids to church, I went down to spend some time with Tanzi. I didn't want her to be without family on Easter Sunday!! Shortly after I got there the NP came to talk to me. She said she wanted to start Tanzi on feeds. She then proceeded to tell me that we would start her on a VERY small amount. About 7 mL every 3 hours. And then she said that we should expect this to be a very LONG process. And what she meant by that is we will begin to think that we will never leave PCMC! She said that we will begin to think that Tanzi's little corner is our permanent home!! She said she just doesn't want to rush Tanzi's feeds. She wants to make sure she can tolerate it before we advance her feeds. Her stomach and that first part of her intestine need to grow...so we will take it slow and keep her on the same amount of feeds for about 3 days before even thinking about increasing them. She also told me that Tanzi may not even want all we try to feed her and to not force her to eat it all. Well, shortly after that when she was telling the RN to go ahead and start the feeds she decided to start with 10 mL's instead of 7!! So, for those of us who speak in American 7 mL's is only .236 ounces, but 10 mL's is a whopping .338 ounces...every 3 hours!

And I got to be there to feed Tanzi her very first food by mouth....EVER! (even though I was trying to nurse the first couple days after Tanzi was born she really didn't eat much....because her stomach was already full of bile and she didn't ever feel hungry!) Right before I fed her Tanzi was so SO sad!! But as soon as I gave her that bottle little Miss Tanzi went to town! Not eat it all? Oh, she downed it! The nurse said, "Oh, she's doing really good. She's doing the suck, swallow, breathe." I said, "Uh, I don't think she's breathing!!" She inhaled it!

I said, "She's been waiting for this her WHOLE life!!"

I am one proud mama!!

Showing off her incision.

When I came home and was telling Gary about everything I also said, "Oh, yeah, and her belly button fell off." Kyri was QUITE concerned! She asked, "But WHY did her belly button fall off?!? Where did it go?!?!" You really have to think about what you say and how you say it when there is a 3 year old in your presence :)

So, I took Tanzi an Easter dress. This is a little preemie dress that used to be Kyri's and I thought it would be perfect for Easter. And after I dressed Tanzi in it I could NOT stop taking pictures. Here are just a FEW from the many I took.

HELLO!

A face Tanzi often makes.

Note the nice little scratch Tanzi gave herself RIGHT before we started taking pictures...of course

Pretty little princess

LOVE her!

Now, I'm no photographer, but this is a pretty stinkin' good picture, if you ask me!!

And to think that these photos don't even do her justice!!

Seriously?!

Yep, an absolute ANGEL!

HAPPY EASTER!

Graysen's Birthday Bash

We had a fun time celebrating Graysen's birthday Saturday evening!! Things have been crazy with Gary and I spending so much time with Tanzi and with Gary working and going to school, but we didn't want our little man to feel forgotten! Gary worked most of the afternoon/evening on Gray's cake...so I bathed the kids and got them ready for bed before we even started the celebrations. Hence, the pajamas in all the photos.

Here's the best shot I could get of Gray and his presents

All that hard work DID pay off!

Isn't it A-mazing?!

Graysen wanted a "choo-choo" cake and Gary is not one to disappoint!!

The birthday boy!

Gray's attempt at blowing out the candles. Good thing his sister was close enough to help!

Opening presents

Who's birthday was it?

Kyri could NOT let Graysen do it himself! Typical 3 year old, right?

Graysen's new Toy Story chair!

Now he won't have to fight with Kyri over her princess chair :)

So, that cake is obviously more than our little family could eat in one sitting, right? Well, today I got home from seeing Tanzi just before Gary had to leave for work. I asked Kyri what Daddy made her for lunch. She replied, "Oh! We had cake!! I had TWO pieces!!" Really, Gary? Cake for LUNCH? Yep, that's what they had! Needless to say, there's really not that much cake left anymore! Spoiled rotten kids! :)

We hope Graysen had a GREAT birthday! We just love him SO much! It is SO hard to not have a smile on your face when Gray is around. He has SO much personality and is just the sweetest little boy! He absolutely LOVES babies and we can't wait for Tanzi to come home so he (and Kyri, of course) can love on her and so he can actually be a BIG brother! He is the BIG 2, after all!

Love you, buddy!!

Day 23 at PCMC

Today did not present us with as much good news as we wanted. HOWEVER, it did not present us with any bad news...so we are very happy with that! We were hoping to start feeding Tanzi by a bottle today. When the medical team did rounds they did not want to start any feeds until they first talked to the surgeon. Later, Dr. Meyers came by (after I already left for the day) and told McKell to go ahead and take the Anderson tube out. I think this is a VERY good call since Tanzi has pulled it out multiple times today anyway :) But she (Dr. Meyers) also said that we will not be starting feeds for at LEAST 12 hours after the Anderson comes out. They want to make sure everything still seems fine. Right now Tanzi is tube free and just on a central IV. So, if all goes well tonight then sometime tomorrow morning we will try to feed her by mouth!! YEA!!

Tanzi was really fussy most of the time I was there, so I really never got any great pictures of her! Here she is showing off her outfit. This is the very FIRST outfit that we actually took to the hospital. All other outfits she has worn have been provided by the hospital (along with her headbands) I have been worried about taking clothes from home because I don't want to lose them. We have a lot of onsies and pants that are just plain and I don't really care if Tanzi doesn't fit in them when she comes home, but there are a couple outfits that are just super cute and I was worried Tanzi would grow out of them before she came home and got to wear them. McKell told me that we could put labels on everything I take and put a sign on Tanzi's crib to check for the labels so we can get the clothes back. So, I waited until I knew McKell would be our nurse for the day and I took a few outfits in. This morning McKell dressed her in this cute blue outfit that used to be Kyri's with a matching red bow (provided by the hospital). Too bad she doesn't have a smiling face to match her cute outfit.

I think the reason Tanzi was so fussy is because 1) She is not used to her body functioning normally, so her tummy and bowels hurt from all that's going on down there and 2) this girl is STARVING and just wants to EAT!! Yep, definitely part of the family!

Here's Tanzi trying to pull out her Anderson. She was successful one time when I was there and when McKell was putting it back in we thought Tanzi might cry a bit, but instead she looked like she was trying to gobble the tube up! It was pretty funny...she will try to eat anything that goes into her mouth!

Today while at the hospital I was able to put together little Easter baskets for the kids. We have stuff at home that we will give them tomorrow for Easter, but I thought Kyri and Graysen would like it if the Easter Bunny left them a basket at the hospital too.

Here's Tanzi with her basket

Kyri and Gray with their baskets.

They would NOT hold still for the picture. This was the best one I could get. And by this time most of there stuff was out of their baskets anyway.

A BIG Day

Today was a big day in more ways than one!

First, Graysen turned the BIG 2 today!!

I cannot believe our little man is growing so fast! Graysen has brought SO much happiness into our home and into our lives! Just looking at his smile brings a smile to our faces! His big blue eyes and cute little dimple would make ANYONE'S heart melt, not just his mom's and dad's!

We will have more pictures tomorrow, since that's when we are celebrating with presents and cake! But for now here is a picture of the birthday boy and his sister.

We had a movie day with popcorn and chocolate milk! Delicious!

Tanzi also had a BIG day today.

However, it did not start that way. When I first got there her nurse, McKell, told me that Tanzi just pooped ALL over everything!! Haha! But she got a nice bubble bath afterwards and clean clothes and bedding, so I'm sure she did it on purpose :)

On the plus side, though, Tanzi gained weight...again...and is now up to 5 lbs 13 oz!!

Shortly after I got to the hospital the medical team did rounds and decided that there was still just WAY too much output from her Anderson tube, so we would leave things as is. No changes. The MD, Dr. Bierer, did ask if anyone on the team had talked to surgery in the last couple days to maybe get some answers. No one had, but I told her what the NP told me on Wednesday after SHE talked to surgery...which was that there would be no changes. So, after rounds I left to pump. When I got back, McKell, our favorite RN, told me that there was going to be some big changes. She said that Dr. Meyers, the surgeon who actually operated on Tanzi, came by and said, "This is not working!" She thought that maybe the NJ (the tube that goes through Tanzi's nose and down into her intestine to stint open the surgery site) was now just actually an obstruction so that all the bile and gunk could NOT pass by and work itself through the intestines. So, she gave McKell the go ahead to take the NJ out completely!!

Totally didn't see that one coming!

And they stopped the suction on the Anderson.

Since Tanzi was being fed through the NJ McKell said that they would just put Tanzi back on an IV and then see how she does for the next 48 hours or so, hoping that gravity will do it's job and everything will just start to work normal. So, we are hoping that Tanzi doesn't throw up or anything and just does REALLY great with no NJ and no suction! And then we will see where we can go from there. Possibly another feeding tube, but possibly just start feeds from a bottle!! Seriously?! What a BIG day!!

And here's pictures to prove it:

Showing off her daily outfit after a nice smelling bubble bath! You can tell our favorite nurse is working because of the cute headband. McKell's the only one that ever puts headbands on Tanzi.

One last look at the NJ

McKell trying to get the tape off that's been holding that NJ in place for 3 weeks now

But the tape was being stubborn and didn't want to come off

Successful removal of the tape (that's the worst part) and one unhappy baby girl!

McKell pulling out the tube!

No more NJ!!

What a BIG ordeal that was!

Getting snuggles from a slightly happier baby girl

Tanzi with one less tube!!

Isn't that better?!

Tonight I called McKell to see how Tanzi did after I left. She told me that she's done REALLY well and hasn't had much output from the Anderson (remember that's without the suction, though) and she hasn't thrown up or anything! She said that Tanzi seems REALLY hungry and is just acting like she really wants to eat. So, McKell called surgery to see if she could just start feeding her a little. Unfortunately, they said no. They want to see how she does tonight. But it sounds like if she has a good night we can try to bottle feed her a LITTLE tomorrow!! Lots of prayers will be going Tanzi's way in hopes that she will have a FABULOUS night!!