My Babies Are Growing Up WAY Too Fast

Last night when it was time for bed I was walking into Kyri's room with her.

I do this EVERY night...and then I tuck her in, turn on her music, sometimes I even lie in her bed with her and talk about the day or read her a book.

But last night, right when we walked into the room Kyri said, "Ummm....actually, I can come to my bed all by myself. You don't need to come with me!!"

Me: "I know, you're a big girl, but I like to come with you so I can tuck you in and give you kisses."

Kyri: "Well, I can go to my bed by myself. So, tomorrow night I will remind you so you don't come with me."

Me: (no, I couldn't just leave it at that and walk away) "WHY?!"

Kyri: "You can go out now."

When I got to her doorway I do what I ALWAYS do.

I turned around and blew her a kiss and said, "Kyri!"

Normally at this point she pops her head up and blows a kiss back and in unison we say,

"I love you!! Night-night!"

But last night after I said her name I got no response.

I still told her I loved her and then I closed the door.

I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty heartbroken!

What happened to my little girl?!

Don't worry, tonight she forgot to remind me that she could do it herself and we were back to our normal routine!! :)

Graysen never bothered going peeps in the potty today.

But tonight after baths I was waiting in my bedroom for him so I could put his diaper on.

He told me he needed to go peeps first.

He sat on the toilet and I'm not really sure if he went or not, but then he washed his hands.

He came into the bedroom, threw the hand towel at me and ran back into the bathroom.

I waited for a few seconds and then said, "Graysen, what are you doing?"

Gray: "Going stinky!!"

So, I walked into the bathroom and, sure enough, he just went on the potty!!

Yes, this is the same boy who, just yesterday, went in his underwear.

Now, remember, we aren't really pushing the potty training, but I love that he is just training himself!!

A few minutes later we were in the bathroom for something and I said, "Oooh. Who made it stink in here?"

Gray smiled and said, "ME!!"

I said, "Does that make mommy happy?"

He got a big grin on his face and shook his head, yes.

You bet that makes mommy happy!!!

What a big boy!!

Last night Tanzi woke up just before 3am. I let her cry for about 15-20 minutes is all and then I went and got her. I changed her bum and tried giving her her binky, but she just really wanted to eat! I gave in. I fed her!

And then, afterwards, I was just rocking her and became extremely emotional.

I couldn't help but think about how much I have complained about her not sleeping well, which means I'm not sleeping well.

And I thought about how frustrated I get listening to her cry in the night and wishing she would just sleep.

And then I thought about how truly blessed I am to have her!

Tanzi has a few friends from PCMC that have been taken from their Mommy's arms much too soon.

I can only imagine what those mothers are going through.

Wishing that they could feed their babies in the night.

Wishing that they weren't getting hardly any sleep.

Wishing that they could hear their babies cry....all night long.

And then I felt guilty for all my complaints.

I decided then that I'm no longer going to complain.

We went through the trial of having Tanzi in the NICU for over a month for a reason. And I feel like maybe we still haven't figured it all out. Maybe there are still too many things we are taking for granted. Maybe our trials aren't even over yet. Maybe, just maybe, I should appreciate the fact that I have a baby that I can hold in the night.

And so, last night I held Tanzi for an extra long time.

And then I gave her some extra kisses.

One for her.

And some for her friends....

who have been taken from their mommies much too soon!